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Non Violent Change Journal Vol. XVI, No.3 Spring, 2002
The "Don't Rules in Societal Trauma and Its Healing by Darling G. Villena-Mata, Ph.D.
There is no such thing as post-trauma, for it never stops for me or for anyone I
know affected by racism. It always is. -- a gang wannabee, Sacramento,
California
The words 'discrimination' and 'racism' make the experience of them sound like a
set object, like a chair or sofa. It just is. But using the word 'trauma' implies
emotions, a process, and a possible healing. - Chloe Mata
Overview
Although many conflict resolution models include human needs theory,
intercultural communications, narrative mediation, and transformative
mediation, the concept of societal traumas arising from "isms" (e.g., racism,
sexism, classism) have not been included as a major player in helping to
dissolve conflict or addressing the health issues experienced by those affected
by "isms". Nor have societal traumas been typically viewed as consequences of
racist, sexist, and other "ist" behaviors delivered by societal institutions and
their practices in the United States; although their impact in other countries is
acknowledged. Additionally, in the discussions of race relations and diversity or
intercultural understanding, the impact of physiological and psychological
trauma, which are created by discrimination and the ongoing "triggers" due to
isms are normally not included.
Trauma can be created out of the pain, fear, grief, and often ongoing low level
to medium stress of being on the receiving end of "isms". Those who have been
victims of hate crimes and any high stresses, resulting from overt discrimination
often do develop traumatic responses. Adults and children alike, who are
recipients of "isms", can be traumatized and thereby can find themselves
developing ongoing trauma stress skills, as well as responding to physiological
responses--both which could be transmitted via generations if the climate of
societal traumas and their "triggers" persist throughout time.
This article is based on some of the elements discussed in the book, Walking
Between Winds: A Passage Through Societal Trauma and Its Healing, which
explores the impact societal trauma has on such areas such as grief, trust,
safety, biculturation, identity formation, meaning, communication styles,
revenge, and conflict resolution, as well as avenues for healing. Societal trauma
can be a major event or a series of reinforcing events that prompt people to
develop attitudes and skills along safety lines, similar to what adult children of
childhood abuse have adopted in order to survive. Micro and macro implications
of trauma are addressed in an interdisciplinary context.
The Effects of the "Don't Rules" of Societal Trauma
The Don't Rules is one major area that I wish to address in this article. These
"rules" are often developed by adult children of childhood abuse. Claudia Black,
Janet Woititz, and other authors and practitioners made this concept popular
back in the 1980's. The Don't Rules are "don't feel, don't trust, and don't talk."
In other words, do not feel your feelings, do not trust yourself (or others), and
do not talk about it-the problem-to others (especially to "them," the abusers).
These rules are familiar to those who have experienced childhood abuse and
other micro traumas.
Many people who are recipients of racism or sexism-or any kind of
"ism"-develop this set of "rules" as well toward the perceived abusing group.
In this case, the perceived abuser may be the dominant group. The dominant
group can be defined along racial or ethnic lines. In the United States, the
abuser group could be perceived as the European-Americans, or "Whites" as
called by American Indians (also known as First Nations people) and by African
Americans; or "Anglos" as called by Hispanics (also known as Latinos). In the
case of gays and lesbians, the abuser group could be perceived as
heterosexuals, especially because there are still many societal institutions and
laws, which do not protect gays and lesbians. The dominant group may be
defined along gender, class, or religious lines as well.
As a member of abused groups, the person learns that he or she cannot
automatically trust a person of a perceived abuser group. Instead, the
members of the perceived abuser group will have to "earn and demonstrate
trust" to the abused group and its members. As part of the healing from
societal trauma, the abused group and their members would eventually need to
experience (the perceived abuser) person as an individual and not a
representative of a group that has harmed them. Based on the amount and
intensity of the exposure to the members of the perceived abuser group, the
abused group may act and communicate in a way that revolves around safety
considerations, which, of course, affects the level of intimacy and effective
communication. If safety is paramount in the interactions, then healing will be
impacted in a negative way, as intimacy and trust would be slow in being
embraced. If societal traumas are multigenerational and intergenerational, the
Don't Rules become part of the communication styles between groups, needing
"interpreters" to truly understand what is being stated and what is said as
means to prevent retaliation or attacks.
Don't Rules can be applied to women who have been discriminated and who
have had negative interactions with men. In this case, men would be perceived
as the abuser group, until the men in question could prove to the woman that
they could be trusted and are "safe". To the degree to which these Rules are
used is based on the severity and duration of discrimination experienced by the
person. It does not matter whether the discrimination had been due to racism,
sexism, classism, anti-specific religion or spirituality, or heterosexism. These
Rules are used if there is a perceived threat coming from the perceived abuser
group.
Any non-dominant group that perceives itself abused will have developed the
Don't Rules. Members of discriminated groups learn to prioritize which incident
really matters enough to feel an emotion about it--let alone say anything about
it.
If societal traumas are intergenerational and pervasive, and if there have been
activities of revenge/social justice retaliations by all parties concerned, then
every party affected will perceive themselves as the abused, and the "other" as
the abuser group. If societal traumas continue for generations, the memories
will be focused on the unresolved "justice", the chronic grief, and instances of
betrayals by the "other group". Third parties who wish to mediate differences
or conflict between abused and abuser groups will do well to understand the
concepts of the Don't Rules and societal trauma vis-a-vis "isms" if successful
long-term resolution is wanted.
Regardless if the abuse is actual or perceived, the fact that it is held as true
and acted accordingly by the perceived abused group should be sufficient basis
for a perceived neutral third party or intermediary to approach the conflicts from
a power and non-power perspective, not as parties equal in power.
Furthermore, if societal trauma, resulting from the society's "isms", is indeed
addressed as one of the major foundations for ongoing conflict and reactions to
societal "triggers", then avenues for healing must also be included in any
conflict resolution.
Consequently, physiological considerations of traumas need to be addressed.
People who are traumatized are in a state of short-term thinking, are
safety-oriented, and in a "fight, flight, freeze" immune system reaction to their
surrounding environment as well as to their internal body environment.
Prolonged heightened alert by the immune systems invite health problems and
challenges. Health issues will creep up and become frequent visitors in the
affected lives. From low level stress to high alert alarm and action, the body will
find itself lacking rest and relaxation.
Chronic grief will impact the human body's systems, such as the lymphatic. The
inability to simply "be", breathe, and to let go may be seen as dangerous or
monumental tasks for a person whose life has become defined by "doingness"
in order to stay safe and maintain approval. When the body finds itself being
threatened, humiliated, disrespected, and in a state of loss, the person will
learn which of these stressful actions are to be responded and which ones are
to be gulped, swallowed, and stored in the body.
However, there are people who do not take in the energies of "isms" and
thereby, do not create traumatic responses within their bodies or actions. There
are a variety of indigenous and new western healing tools, including
BienEducada work, narrative/storytelling work, faith/spiritual redevelopment,
identity work, dreamwork, somatic and energy modalities, SomatoEmotional
Release, and Somasensing which assist the person and the groups affected to
release traumatic energies and create new perceptions which the body will
follow, while maintaining appropriate vigilance for the ongoing "isms" of society.
These same tools can also be used to deal with societal traumas induced by
"isms". Funding for healing at the community level as well as the individual
levels should be included in any agreements between the parties. Mediation
can only go so far in opening the doors to dialogue. Conflict resolution must
also address the aftermath of trauma in the kinds of conflicts the world is now
facing.
One must also keep in mind that cognitive skills and assessments are based on
safety factors as well as physiological considerations. To expect members and
leaders of abused groups to not be affected by trauma considerations is folly
and dangerous, especially if we are relying on them to develop policies,
practices, and community implementation that are fair to all societal groups
concerned. Cognition and leadership skills can only be as effective as the
overall health of the individuals involved.
The Rules serve to compartmentalize and prioritize one's lives. But at what
cost? Depending on how severe the threat is, imagination and creativity are
used to develop ways to avoid the abuser's attention, as well as ways to
maneuver and manipulate within the abusive environment, so that basic needs
are met, be it according to the norms set by society or not. The person learns to
"work the system".
While most survivors and recipients of trauma (be it micro or macro) develop
skills and strategies to keep them safe, there are some who will see their
ongoing lives as lacking personal meaning and safety (be it physical, spiritual,
or psychological). To those who feel that they have nothing to lose because
normal channels of being heard and feeling that they matter are closed to them
(be it actual or perceived), they may involved themselves in 'scapegoat'
behaviors or 'problem' behaviors (to the society at large). If we are to totally
heal from societal trauma, healing will have to be addressed at both the micro
and macro levels: through our selves, our groups, our communities, and society
in general.
While this article focuses on a few similarities between micro and macro abuse,
other elements must be included if healing is to occur, such as physiological
changes due to "fight, flight, freeze" reactions, transgenerational passages of
those reactions; identity formation centered around the societal traumas;
transgenerational revenge which is fed by ongoing "triggers" of "isms"; pride
and grief's impact on communication; grief and loss attachment; and coping
skills developed due to the traumas, as well as healing modalities which include
indigenous methods of the parties concerned. The kinds of conflict that the
world is facing warrants a more wholistic and interdisciplinary approach in the
resolution of current conflicts and foundations of healing to prevent future
conflicts from occurring.
(For more information, read Walking Between Winds: A Passage Through Societal
Trauma and Its Healing. You may also contact the author, Dr. Darling
Villena-Mata for consultation, training, and presentations at
circlepoint@earthlink.net or at leave a message at 310.474.7627, Los Angeles,
California, United States.)
Partial References
Apprey, M., Ph.D. (1998). Reinventing the Self in the Face of Received
Transgenerational Hatred in the African American Community. Paper: Center for
the Study of Mind and Human Interaction, [ejournal version of hardcopy]
University of Virginia. Retrieved on August 18, 2000 from the world wide web:
http:hsc.virginia.edu/medicine/inter-discsmhi/self.html
Black, C. (1982). It will never happen to me. New York: Ballantine Books.
Blalock, J.E. (1989, Jan.). A molecular basis for bidirectional communication
between immune and neuroendocrine systems. Physiological Review, 69
(1),1-32.
Burton, J. (1990). Conflict: Human needs theory. New York: St. Martin's Press.
Bush, R.A.B. & Folger, J.P. (1994). The promise of mediation: responding to
conflict through empowerment and recognition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Danieli, Y. (Ed.) (1998). International handbook of multigenerational legacies of
trauma. New York: Plenum Press.
Deer, P.I. (1999). The body as peace: Somatic practice for transforming conflict.
Unpublished dissertation. Cincinnati, Ohio: Union Institute.
Duran, E. & Duran, B. (1995). Native American postcolonial psychology. New
York: State University of New York Press.
Fischman, Y. (1998, January). Metaclinical issues in the treatment of
psychopolitical trauma. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 68 (1), 27-38.
Freire, P. (1996). Pedagogy of the oppressed. New York: Continuum.
hooks, b. (1990). Yearning: race, gender, and cultural politics. Boston,
Massachusetts: South End Press
Middleton-Moz, J. & Fedrid, E. (1987, July-August). The many faces of grief.
Changes, 8-9, 32-34.
Niehoff, D. (1999). The biology of violence: How understanding the brain,
behavior, and environment can beak the vicious cycle of aggression. New York:
Free Press.
Northern Ireland. (April 10, 1998). Belfast agreement. Document received from
Irish representatives in May, 1998 at Organization Development Institute
Non-Violence Meeting in New Hampshire.
Ross, G. (2002) Healing society: The role of the media in the healing of trauma.
Los Angeles, California:manuscript. Publication pending.
Schutzenberger, A. A. (1998). The ancestor syndrome: Transgenerational
psychotherapy and the hidden links in the family tree. (A. Trager, Trans.).
London and New York: Routledge.
Scott, K. M. Perennial mourning: Identity conflict and the transgenerational
transmission of trauma within the African-American community. Paper taken
from the website: Center for the Study of Mind and Human Interaction,
University of Virginia. Retrieved on August 18, 2000 from world wide web:
http:hsc.virginia.edu/medicine/inter-dis/csmhi
Williams, Jr. C. (1999) Recovery for everyday racisms. Detroit, Michigan: The
Institute for Recovery from Everyday Racisms.
Woititz, J. (1987). Adult children of alcoholics. Pompano Beach, FL: Health
Communications.
These articles and opinions of the authors do not constitute the endorsement of
Nonviolent Change nor its publisher, the Research/Study Team on Nonviolent Large
Systems Change - an interorganizational and international project of The Organization
Development Institute, or any of its staff, nor of CirclePoint which is housing the
Nonviolent Change Journal.
©2002. All rights reserve. The Nonviolent Change Journal is published by the
Research/Study Team on Nonviolent Large Systems Change - an interorganizational and
international project of The Organization Development Institute.
Permissions: Reposting and reprints are encouraged, as long as proper source
acknowledgement is given. As a courtesy, please let us know that you are reprinting or
electronically reposting. It helps us know of the interest level. Thank you.
Partial References
Apprey, M., Ph.D. (1998). Reinventing the Self in the Face of Received
Transgenerational Hatred in the African American Community. Paper: Center for
the Study of Mind and Human Interaction, [ejournal version of hardcopy]
University of Virginia. Retrieved on August 18, 2000 from the world wide web:
http:hsc.virginia.edu/medicine/inter-discsmhi/self.html
Black, C. (1982). It will never happen to me. New York: Ballantine Books.
Blalock, J.E. (1989, Jan.). A molecular basis for bidirectional communication
between immune and neuroendocrine systems. Physiological Review, 69
(1),1-32.
Burton, J. (1990). Conflict: Human needs theory. New York: St. Martin's Press.
Bush, R.A.B. & Folger, J.P. (1994). The promise of mediation: responding to
conflict through empowerment and recognition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Danieli, Y. (Ed.) (1998). International handbook of multigenerational legacies of
trauma. New York: Plenum Press.
Deer, P.I. (1999). The body as peace: Somatic practice for transforming conflict.
Unpublished dissertation. Cincinnati, Ohio: Union Institute.
Duran, E. & Duran, B. (1995). Native American postcolonial psychology. New
York: State University of New York Press.
Fischman, Y. (1998, January). Metaclinical issues in the treatment of
psychopolitical trauma. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 68 (1), 27-38.
Freire, P. (1996). Pedagogy of the oppressed. New York: Continuum.
hooks, b. (1990). Yearning: race, gender, and cultural politics. Boston,
Massachusetts: South End Press
Middleton-Moz, J. & Fedrid, E. (1987, July-August). The many faces of grief.
Changes, 8-9, 32-34.
Niehoff, D. (1999). The biology of violence: How understanding the brain,
behavior, and environment can beak the vicious cycle of aggression. New York:
Free Press.
Northern Ireland. (April 10, 1998). Belfast agreement. Document received from
Irish representatives in May, 1998 at Organization Development Institute
Non-Violence Meeting in New Hampshire.
Ross, G. (2002) Healing society: The role of the media in the healing of trauma.
Los Angeles, California:manuscript. Publication pending.
Schutzenberger, A. A. (1998). The ancestor syndrome: Transgenerational
psychotherapy and the hidden links in the family tree. (A. Trager, Trans.).
London and New York: Routledge.
Scott, K. M. Perennial mourning: Identity conflict and the transgenerational
transmission of trauma within the African-American community. Paper taken
from the website: Center for the Study of Mind and Human Interaction,
University of Virginia. Retrieved on August 18, 2000 from world wide web:
http:hsc.virginia.edu/medicine/inter-dis/csmhi
Williams, Jr. C. (1999) Recovery for everyday racisms. Detroit, Michigan: The
Institute for Recovery from Everyday Racisms.
Woititz, J. (1987). Adult children of alcoholics. Pompano Beach, FL: Health
Communications.
These articles and opinions of the authors do not constitute the endorsement of
Nonviolent Change nor its publisher, the Research/Study Team on Nonviolent Large
Systems Change - an interorganizational and international project of The Organization
Development Institute, or any of its staff, nor of CirclePoint which is housing the
Nonviolent Change Journal.
©2002. All rights reserve. The Nonviolent Change Journal is published by the
Research/Study Team on Nonviolent Large Systems Change - an interorganizational and
international project of The Organization Development Institute.
Permissions: Reposting and reprints are encouraged, as long as proper source
acknowledgement is given. As a courtesy, please let us know that you are reprinting or
electronically reposting. It helps us know of the interest level. Thank you.
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