I have taken the liberty of collecting these ideas from four sources (linked in their headings) to simplify the search for those in rural and remote Canada and Australia.
One way of handling this insane number of choices is to print some, cut into strips, fold and place in a cookie jar.
Then take turns pulling one out each week or fortnight.
That way you remove the issue of intitiative and the one who picks it delivers.
Given that some are written for the lady to give this could be kinky if you're a guy and you pick: Once in a while, go ahead and wear the lingerie he likes — even that thong you wish you'd never bought.
A. Jump start fun and romance with these 60 tips. retrieved from relationshipjourney.com 17/04/06
1. Call your partner unexpectedly just to say you love him/her and were thinking of him/her.
2. Call your spouse/partner just to tell them one thing you appreciate about them.
3. Send your spouse/partner flowers (home, office, hotel room) "just because", or 'thank you for. . .", or 'because I love you', etc..
4. Send a fax to work or hotel (or an e-mail) saying that you love your partner and can't wait to be with him/her again.
5. Pick up flowers or dinner on the way home and surprise your partner. (If dinner, you might want to call and feel things out first!)
6. When you come home, find your partner and just hold him/her close for a moment (prolonged hug)--no words necessary.
7. Call your partner at 10:00am and tell them you are going to take them out to lunch.
8. Call your partner, tell them you'll meet them for lunch, pick up cheese, crackers, and then find a place to make love!
9. When you walk by your partner at home, touch him/her, or give a hug, or caress.
10. Wake up to the day as if it was 'the first time' you were alone with your spouse. Greet him/her enthusiastically. Sit and just look lovingly at him/her for a few moments. Ask about them and their day and just listen and try to let them know you understand (even if you disagree)--no problem solving unless asked for!
11. Write a note and put it where your partner will find it during the day. Tell the person loving things.
12. Make a list of 10 things you love about your partner and leave it where they will find it (or mail it).
13. Try a new way to make your love-making more sensual and prolonged. (Can use candles, incense, longer foreplay, times of just kissing and holding, caressing, exploring each other's bodies by touch, etc.)
14. When you go to bed, sleep naked together without sex. Just hold your partner or snuggle next to him/her so your bodies touch.
15. Just hold your partner in bed (can be dressed) without sex until one of you falls asleep.
16. Bring home balloons (or hide them and put them out at night after your partner goes to bed) with a note or sign with something like "I celebrate YOU!" "You are wonderful!" or something similar.
17. Pamper your partner one evening. (Examples: If watching TV, ask partner if would like anything--offer to put stool under feet or take off shoes and massage feet. If cooking dinner, volunteer to clean up, do dishes while partner just relaxes. Give back rub. Put on soothing music. Etc...)
18. Next time you kiss, pause, look into your partner's eyes remembering what it was like when you first met. Touch his/her face. Trace his/her lips with your finger. Slowly bring your lips to theirs--first gently kissing his/her upper lip, then lower lip. Embrace your partner and gently kiss them fully, letting your lips part, and enjoy every second of it. After the kissing is finished, just hold each other a few moments longer.
19. Plan a 'date'--arrange for baby-sitters, clear calendar, etc. (Good to do this one once a week or at least every two weeks!)
20. 'Surprise' your partner by taking them someplace they have said they wanted to go--a sporting event, a concert, a restaurant, a computer show, the mall, etc. Do it even if it isn't something you like. Enjoy your partner enjoying it and do it simply for love.
21. Make a list of 10 romantic things to say to your partner and say them from time to time throughout the week.
22. Create a romantic dinner either out or in.
23. Take a bath together with bath oils, or bubbles, and candles.
24. Do what you would do for an anniversary on a regular day--just because.
25. Buy a gift for your partner--it can be a blouse or shirt s/he wanted--or something simple and inexpensive.
26. Plan a picnic in the park (or your own yard, or living room).
27. Even when you still have chores to do, take the day off, go to a movie or do something else fun.
28. Call your partner unexpectedly during the day (or at night if they are out of town) and talk sexy to him/her, telling them how much you long to feel him/her, etc.
29. Plan a surprise getaway weekend for just the two of you--arranging for baby-sitters, dogsitters, etc. Take your partner someplace you think he or she will love. You can go to a nice hotel in your own city!
30. Greet your partner at the airport with a balloon or flower and enthusiastic 'welcome home'.
31. Take out an ad in the Lost and Found with something like "I've found love with you." or something similar. Have a florist deliver a rose, the newspaper and a note telling him/her which page to turn to and where the ad is.
32. Make sure your partner can sleep in one weekend morning. Take care of telephone, kids, dogs, etc.
33. Leave your favorite romantic song (even if from when you first dated) on your partner's voice mail or answering machine.
34. Give your partner a massage on any part or all of his/her body (if full body, create climate with candles, etc.)
35. Sit and talk about fun and romantic times in your relationship--when you were dating, first married, etc. Enjoy the memories and think about how to bring some of that into the present.
36. Write a short poem (even if it doesn't rhyme and even if you think you could never write poetry) telling of your love. You can start with lines like, "Like the light of a harvest moon. . ." "Heart to heart. . ." "Like the water caresses the sand. . ." etc.
37. Lip sync a romantic song for your partner after dinner one night.
38. Bring home or to the office your partner's favorite sweet thing.
39. Leave a flower on the pillow before your partner goes to bed--even if it is one you pick from your own yard.
40. Take the afternoon off and just go someplace with your partner.
41. Plan a 'secret rendezvous' in your own town, in the city where your partner is on business, etc.
42. Send your partner a postcard when you are out of town saying you were thinking of him/her and love him/her. It doesn't matter if you get home before the postcard does!
43. Write a love letter as if you were just falling in love with the person.
44. Tell your partner you that instead of watching TV tonight (or doing work, or fussing with the kids, etc.), you simply want to be with them.
45. Go for a walk together after dinner, holding hands and remembering good times you've had.
46. Write "I love You!" on the bathroom mirror with lipstick or shaving cream.
47. Shower together.
48. Paint a heart or something else on your partner's body or body part with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and lick it off slowly, and saying "MMMMMMMmmmmmmm".
49. Tell your partner before you go to bed, or before you leave in the morning, one of the things you love most about him/her (quality, physical characteristic, behavior).
50. Agree to meet at a social event or public place and act as if you are meeting each other for the first time---flirt, make 'eyes' at each other or other gestures from across the room, rub against each other when walking by, etc.
51. Go skinny dipping in pool or hot tub or at the beach.
52. Test drive a Porsche or a convertible with the top down and pretend you are seeing each other although it has been 'forbidden' by your parents.
53. When your partner is coming home late in the evening (after meeting, etc.), have bed turned down, hot bath ready with flower petals floating in it and candles.
54. Rent a video you know your spouse would like or liked in the past, make popcorn and have an evening together like teenagers.
55. Create your own 'slumber party' for just the two of you.
56. Drive to the beach (or spend the night) and go for walks on the beach holding hands.
57. When you have to go out of town on business, add an extra day and invite your spouse to join you for all or part of your trip.
58. Undress your partner as if it were the first time--slowly, touching their body as you go.
59. Make sexy comments to your partner throughout the evening.
60. Use your imagination---this is a person you are just falling in love with (again!)--be creative in ways to express that, be together, etc.
B. 14 Couple Time Ideas retrieved from marriage.about.com 17/04/06
1. Schedule a weekend just for the two of you. Write it on your calendar, put it on your computer planner, etc. Don't change it for any other event. You don't have to go anywhere.
2. Have lunch together once a week. On nice days, meet in a park.
3. Let your children know that you two need time alone together. Tell them they can knock on your closed bedroom door only if there is blood.
4. Walk around the block together.
5. Do chores together like the dishes or weeding. It may not sound like quality time, but it can be.
6. When you are running errands together, turn off the radio or cd player in the car.
7. Take showers together.
8. Spend 20 minutes a day in daily dialogue.
9. Arrange for a quiet evening at home alone once a month.
10. Hire a babysitter to watch the kids for a couple hours even though you are home. This works wonders!
11. Work out a deal with another couple to have them watch your kids overnight so you can have a romantic evening alone ...then you watch their children for them.
12. Attend a Marriage Encounter weekend.
13. Volunteer to be a presenting couple on Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille or Engaged Encounter weekends.
14. When you travel together, don't take work on the plane or trip. Spend that time talking to each other.
C. Romance for couples with kids retrieved from getromantic on 17/04/06
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey bottle of perfume, but it takes creativity and forethought to be truly romantic. The key lies in personalizing your celebration. Here are ten ideas to fuel your own creativity:
1 Empty a box of chocolates. Then cut out 50 to 100 hearts from lace doilies, construction paper, or fabric. On each cutout, record something about your mate that you love. Be specific, "The way you smell when you come to bed at night," "The way you take care of me when Im sick," "Your recipe for pancakes"...
Fold the cutouts, place them in the chocolate box, and top with a red satin bow.
The time you spend coming up with these ideas will contribute to your own romantic mood, and what your partner thinks is a plain-old box of chocolates will instead be a treasured gift for years to come. Plus, you can add to the box for future birthday, holiday, or Valentine's Day celebrations.
2 Build a romantic fire. Before the kids go to bed, have fun roasting marshmallows. After their lights are out, host your own indoor picnic, complete with a bottle of wine and chocolate-covered strawberries.
3 Recreate your first date together. What were you wearing? Where did you go? Do you remember what you talked about? Spend the evening reminiscing and reflecting on how far youve come as a couple.
4 Spoon all night.
5 Choose a book in which you are both interested, fiction or nonfiction. Read a new chapter each night before bed. This cozy tradition will allow you to spend some quality time together and often makes for thought-provoking breakfast conversations.
6 Make a tape of the songs special to your relationship. Include "your song," songs from your wedding, songs from favorite movies. Add a personal voice dedication and leave it in your partner's briefcase, Walkman, or car stereo.
7 Turn off the TV.
8 Kidnap your spouse. Arrange for a babysitter for a few hoursor a few days. A friend of mine had a lot of success with this one. She knew her husband had always wanted to get married in Vegas, but he had agreed to a large, formal ceremony hosted by her family. So, after they had been married 10 years, she surprised him at work with a packed suitcase. They caught an evening flight and renewed their vows before an Elvis impersonator in a Vegas chapel. Years later, theyre still talking about it.
9 This one requires a babysitter, too. Next time youre visiting your parents or in-laws, leave the kids with the grandparents and travel to another town, where no one will recognize you. Check into a hotel or B&B. Dress like another person. Act like another person. Its fun to slip into another persona from time to time.
10 Have a scavenger hunt. Write a few poems, wrap candy kisses inside, and hide them around the house. Each poem should be a clue to finding the next one. Make sure the final clue lands your mate someplace you want to end up for the entire evening. A romance package, including a bottle of champagne and new lingerie, is a nice touch.
Create some romantic memories today. Now with your pocketbook, but with your imagination. Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of 'Rekindling Your Romance after Kids and More Energy for Moms'. She is also the founder of the award-winning momscape.com, a website designed to help busy parents find balance.
D. 77 Love Boosters for Super-Busy Couples retrieved from magazines.ivillage.com 17/04/06 .
There are more great ideas on their site: 100 great date night ideas and 101 secrets of a happy marriage.
Many a marriage expert (or possibly your own preconceived notions) would have you believe that you need to spend huge blocks of so-called quality time working on Life's Most Important Relationship to keep it going strong. For most of us living in the real world, however, those just-the-two-of-us candlelit dinners and deep, soulful talks don't fit into a regular routine. And that's okay. The fact is, marriage is in the details: the little stolen moments you two share each day. Need inspiration? Try any — or all — of these sweet and romantic ideas, most of which take no more than five minutes and will keep you crazy in love.
Written for the woman but works for any gender and sexual preference. Use your imagination.
1 Tell him why he's so much sexier now than when you first met him.
2 Pat his butt when he passes your chair on the way to let the dog out.
3 Bring him a cup of freshly brewed coffee when he's up late working.
4 Watch The Three Stooges with him without even once asking "What's funny about this?"
5 Develop code gestures for when you're out in public. Signals that communicate the following are crucial: "This party is boring me to tears" and "I've got to get you home and make love to you."
6 Get up with him a half hour earlier than usual and use the time to talk, make love or just read the paper together, side by side.
7 Link up your Palm Pilots and leave him a love message for the day.
8 Plop onto the sofa and give each other simultaneous two-minute foot massages.
9 Play "your" song on the stereo when he walks in the door after a sweaty bout with the snowblower.
10 Farm the kids out to their friends' houses one night every month. Note: Double-check to make sure that they're all gone on the same night.
11 Play a game of strip Yahtzee. (Watch out for the large straight.)
12 Never underestimate the power of a sudden passionate kiss before dinner.
13 After driving his car, refill the tank.
14 Once in a while, go ahead and wear the lingerie he likes — even that thong you wish you'd never bought.
15 Get him a coupon card for a free coffee at his favorite java joint and slip it into his briefcase when he's not looking.
16 Hold his hand at parent-teacher conferences, soccer games and ballet recitals.
17 In bed at night, make sure to touch at least one part of his body, even if you don't go for full-tilt spooning.
18 Smile across the pillow at him first thing in the morning.
19 Go grocery shopping together and pick out something really luscious for dessert.
20 Then sit on the couch with your legs entwined and take turns feeding it to each other.
21 Don't ask him if he thinks you look fat in that dress.
22 Brag about him to your friends when you know he might overhear.
23 If you're up late, take 10 minutes to go outside and look at the stars together.
24 Strip down and go skinny-dipping with him whenever humanly possible.
25 After supper, ignore the dishes and slow-dance in the living room.
26 Ask him to slowly and gently brush your hair.
27 Write a magnetic love poem on the refrigerator about the day you met him.
28 Call his mom up sometimes just to say hi.
29 Go ahead — tell him your favorite dirty joke.
30 Develop a secret language based on things you've shared (for example, use "jiffy love" to mean your spur-of-the-moment, five-second groping sessions).
31 Tell him three reasons you think he's a great father.
32 Meet him with a big fluffy towel when he's getting out of the shower, and give him a rubdown from head to toe.
33 Take the television set out of the bedroom, and bring in some candles and satin (or flannel) sheets.
34 Mention that your old boyfriend has gotten really fat and bald, and that you thank God you married an eternal stud muffin like him.
35 Get him those funky gel soaps, moisturizers or loofahs you know he'd totally love but wouldn't be caught dead buying himself.
36 If he has to go on a business trip, slip your sexiest lingerie into his suitcase.
37 Listen to him when he's unhappy but without giving advice, even if you have to bite your tongue to keep quiet.
38 Help him make time for puttering around the basement, working on his golf swing or doing whatever else he loves.
39 Give him plenty of sweet, sloppy nicknames just for special times. (Don't let one of them be "Dad.")
40 Whisper in his ear sometimes, even if it's just the grocery list.
41 Now and then, take lunch at the same time and have a picnic.
42 Knead his neck when he's driving.
43 On cold winter days, warm up his clothes in the dryer before he puts them on.
44 Hug him when he's washing the dishes.
45 After you've gotten your hair cut or colored, don't ask him, "So what's different about me?"
46 Instead of drinking your morning coffee at the breakfast table, sit together on the couch, shoulders touching.
47 Now and then, lug out the old photo albums and remind each other of how much fun your life together has been.
48 If possible, try to arrange to carpool together to work.
49 Say no to outside activities that sap too much time and energy from your marriage, such as joining school committees and planning boards.
50 Don't argue in bed. If you're mad at bedtime, get up and have the discussion in another part of the house.
51 Together, tell the kids the story of how you met.
52 Surprise him with a take-out dinner and a movie.
53 Crank up some Barry White as mood music.
54 Write your birthday and anniversary dates on his calendar, along with week-ahead reminders to give him time to plan something special.
55 Read the same books. That way when you pass each other in the hall or on a leg of the kid-taxi service, you'll have something thought-provoking to say.
56 To nurture your marriage, make sure you're nurturing yourself, too. Take a few minutes every day to close your eyes and sit quietly, stretch or indulge in a hot, scented bath.
57 For his birthday, make an impromptu card using cut-out photos of the two of you.
58 Gossip with him about other couples you know, and tell him why he's so much more handsome/nice/considerate than the other guys.
59 Buy him a baseball cap with his all-time favorite team's logo.
60 Blow him a kiss whenever you pull out of the driveway.
61 Give him a body-part-of-his-choice massage before he climbs out of bed in the morning.
62 Perfect the art of The Quickie before going to work, while the kids are watching Saturday-morning cartoons, or when the two of you are changing clothes for any reason.
63 Go to a playground and push each other on the swings.
64 Surprise him by vacuuming up all the kid-produced crumbs in his car.
65 When you're both busy at home, try to be busy in the same room. Some of the best conversations are born that way.
66 Tell him all the things that you can't wait to do with him once the kids are grown up and out of the house.
67 Pull a Bull Durham: Ask him to polish your toenails.
68 Listen, riveted, when he describes a football or baseball play in minute detail, even if you haven't the slightest idea what he's talking about.
69 Give him (and yourself) a gift certificate for a handyman service so you can get the gutters cleaned or the faucet washers on the sink replaced without having to take time away from your marriage.
70 Ask him to zip up your dress, then stand extra-extra-close while he does it.
71 When you're using hand lotion, tell him you've put too much on and you need to rub your hands against his to sop up the extra.
72 Leave kisses, hearts, and the words "I love you" in lipstick on the bathroom mirror.
73 Before going to sleep, read him a selection of torrid love scenes from your favorite romance novel.
74 Oh, go on — make out in public occasionally.
75 Kiss all ten of his fingertips while he's watching television.
76 Figure out what works to defuse a looming argument. Try making a funny face, giving him a big smooch, unbuttoning your shirt or talking like Donald Duck.
77 Put down your fork at dinner, lean across the table, look him right in the eye and say, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
