For example, if one child is a rebel or is disabled, a sibling may take on the role of the good child to alleviate some of the stress in the family. The complementary nature of roles makes families more stable and resistant to change, which works well most of the time to maintain family identity and culture accross generations.
However, when a family's coping mechanisms are overwhelmed by social, economic or psychological stress, this stability stifles growth, expression and alternative solutions to solvable problems. This can be considered dysfunctional.
Here are twelve characteristics of a family system.
More information on roles in dysfunctional families on a these three sites here and here and here.
The Bouverie Centre at La Trobe Unoversity in Victoria and Family Therapy resources on the web and Relationships Australia's Family Therapy library
The following article retrieved in part from silcom.com 02/04/06 based on material in 'Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light' 1998 by Robert Burney with my edits and additions.
Here are five roles that children may adopt in order to survive growing up in dysfunctional family systems.
Some children maintain one role into adulthood while others switch from one role to another as the family dynamic changes (i.e. when the oldest leaves home, etc.)
Responsible Child - Family Hero
This is the child who is "9 going on 40." This child takes over the parent role at a very young age, becoming very responsible and self-sufficient. They give the family self-worth because they look good on the outside. They are the good students, the sports stars, the prom queens. The parents look to this child to prove that they are good parents and good people.
As an adult the Family Hero is rigid, controlling, and extremely judgmental of others and secretly of themselves. They achieve "success" on the outside and get lots of positive attention but are cut off from their inner emotional life, from their True Self. They are compulsive and driven as adults because deep inside they feel inadequate and insecure.
Acting out child - Scapegoat - The problem child
This is the child that the family feels ashamed of - and the most emotionally honest child in the family. He/she acts out the tension and anger the family ignores. This child provides distraction from the real issues in the family. The scapegoat usually has trouble in school because they get attention the only way they know how - which is negatively. They often become pregnant or addicted as teenagers.
These children are usually the most sensitive and caring which is why they feel such tremendous hurt. They are romantics who become very cynical and distrustful. They have a lot of self-hatred and can be very self-destructive.
Placater - Mascot - The Fixer - The Clown
This child takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the family. They become the families 'social director" and clown, diverting the family's attention from the pain and anger.
This child becomes an adult who is valued for their kind heart, generosity, and ability to listen to others. Their whole self-definition is centered on others and they don't know how to get their own needs met. They become adults who cannot receive love, only give it. They often get involved in abusive relationships in an attempt to "save" the other person. They go into the helping professions and become nurses, and social workers, and therapists. They have very low self-worth and feel a lot of guilt.
Adjuster - Lost Child - The Ghost
This child escapes by attempting to be invisible. They daydream, fantasize, read a lot of books or watch a lot of TV. They deal with reality by withdrawing from it. They deny that they have any feelings and "don't bother getting upset."
It is important to note that we adapt the roles that are best suited to our personalities. We are, of course, born with a certain personality. What happens with the roles we adapt in our family dynamic is that we get a twisted, distorted view of who we are as a result of our personality melding with the roles. This is dysfunctional because it causes us to not be able to see ourselves clearly. The false self that we develop to survive is never totally false - there is always some Truth in it.
Mastermind
The opportunist who capitalizes on the other family members' faults in order to get what he/she wants.