An answer
 

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How to mend navigation: 1. How to mend * 2. Models of mending * 3. How to be a grown up * 4. Hold me tight * 5. Becoming vulnerable * 6. Emotional bids * 7. Constructive fights * 8. Exits from intimacy * 9. The answer

Last update 29/11/2012

"I had read the whole of your site'', said one of my clients. He reached the last page at 1.00am before driving 450 km to begin repairing the relationship with his partner. She had left him 48 hours earlier. He had searched the web for an answer and came upon my website.

"So the question is", he asked me later, "how did two really smart people with the best will in the world get themselves into such a mess? What's the answer?"

 

first slow .... down

 

not knowing is most intimate. dizang

 

there can be no intimacy without vulnerability

 

maintain a dual focus of mindfulness and empathy

 

in the long run, we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving. Kopp

 

we are never made whole... without at the same time being broken. Wallace

 

learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again. Kopp

 

 

On video: Brene Brown gives the answer with wisdom and humor

 

In actions: a recipe is here

 

In book: 'An Intelligent Life' by Julian Short

 

From the regrets of the dying

 

 

"Don't be afraid of mistakes and flaws they are the ones that are unplanned anyway... serving life's purpose... clearing our path... Ego may make us arrogant, yet arrogance has its reward... the error dance is still a dance, and the music is played by heart"~ Ou